Sunday, November 4, 2012

Uncomfort(able) Food

Super big fan of comfort food.  I mean, come on, I'm a hale and hearty Norge-type lady.  Meat, potatoes, sauces, cheese - uh, yes please!  So I was super excited to roll in to the Amsterdam this afternoon for a bit o'brunch and a Bloody.

Nish nish.

Here follows my uncensored (and post-eats embellished) review...

"Himalayan Cream hash was ordered.  I was pretty excited!  Potatoes, onion, egg (1 - poached), house made sausage, smoke gouda, goat cheese, and hollandaise.  God damn right!!!


The dish arrived in a take-out boat, um, ok,I'll give that one to them.  It's Sunday, it's a bar, that's a pass.   But, then there was the "hollandaise" accompanying it in all its separated and greasy glory in a 1-oz paper cup (see photo).  I'm no expert, but I'm pretty certain hollandaise should be creamy, awesome, and smothering whatever it is supposed to be served with.  Hmmm.  It's got to get better, no?


The potatoes and onion were done up right.  The poached egg was superb.  And that's where the upside ends.

Obviously, as you can see, the hollandaise gave off an unmistakable aura of "ish, don't think so" (again, please reference the photo), so a curry mayo was hastily ordered up in its stead - which may have been a horrible mistake, had I not mixed it 40/60 with some table ketchup.  Its absolute late of sweetness and overpowering curry-powder-from-a-vat would have destroyed any flavor that may have existed without the Mack truck power sweetness of the tomato/sugar mix I added.  The union was passable, at best.


The goat's cheese was plasticky and the Gouda was no where to be found.  (I'm panicking, spirit is flagging).  When finally I made my way to some of the "house made sausage" I was disappointed to find it to be nondescript chunks with an absolute lack of taste.  Totally forgettable.  (And my soul is now crushed).

Typically this is where the booze would pick up the slack.  All Hail Bloody Mary!!!  Alas, not so much.  While a decent vodka was used, the mix was a bit too heavy on Sriracha, and the accoutrements were wholly pedestrian and included a frozen 1/2 pickle spear (frozen.  FROZEN!) and a super depressed, wilted olive.  I have nothing more to say on the matter.

All in all, don't bother, unless you are super stoned, too hungover to care, or lack any tastebuds - then it's ok."

And, honestly folks, this is coming from someone who thinks a Taco Bell Doritos Loco taco is haute cuisine.

In other news - THIS (see below) is what hollandaise SHOULD look like.